Category Archives: Chakra Healing

4 Reasons You Can’t say “NO”

4 reasons you can’t say NO, and people please:

  1. Worry about how others will perceive you.
  2. To avoid feeling guilty or bad.
  3. To prevent loss.
  4. To make yourself feel valuable

Let’s break these down!

Often, as a therapist, I hear people tell me that they can’t say no when they want to.  It is one of the top 5 issues that keep people from being free and happy. 

Number one… Worry about how others will perceive you… you might say to yourself, “what if they tell others and then they think I’m a bad person.”  Why is this such a worry?  Because of what your programming says you “should”do.  Outside, learned expectations of what/how people should be/do.

Number two…following through with something you don’t want to do in order to avoid something you don’t want to feel… is most commonly associated with guilt.  But what is guilt? Where does it come from? Guilt is associated with doing something “wrong,” especially in a court of law.  Why would we think we are “wrong” in a relationship? Go back to #1… Something we “should” be doing or being. 

Number three…If you don’t do this, and say NO, then that person may distance themselves from you.  You could lose a connection.  This could trigger abandonment feelings.  Even though that connection might not be healthy and you are hiding your true feelings, you might rather keep someone than lose them.  Also, you may think, “If I don’t do this, then they won’t be there for me when I need it…” which is codependency.

Number four…last but not least… You don’t say No because you are getting something from it.  You may fulfill the need to feel like “I am always the one everyone can depend on.”  And that makes you feel valuable.  Wanted.  Needed.  If you say No, they might not ask you again.. Then where would you get your value fix?  They might not come to you again.  Which ultimately leads back to #3, loss of connection. 

See how these are all intertwined!! 

You can’t totally separate them out.  Just as you can’t totally separate the mind from the body.  Although I see so many people “in their head” 95% of the day, it is causing them misery and suffering.  Just watch someone when they talk.  What is their body doing?  Are they looking away from you a lot?  Looking around to different eye positions is necessary to disengage from the moment and to recall with the mind.  The body is forced out of engagement, via the eyes, from the person in front of them. 

Also, you may see someone touch their head a lot.  I often see people put both hands up to each side of their head when they are trying to utilize all head.  They are forcing all the focus and life force energy to the mind, by using their hands to hold it.   

So how do you stop people pleasing and start saying NO???????

You dig into these 4 areas and write out what is specifically happening inside of yourself.  You sit and breathe while you do this.  You stop, close your eyes, ask your body where do you feel this.  You reconnect body with mind so they can work together.  You ask yourself questions.  Am I really ok with this belief I’ve identified?  Why am I worried about being seen differently?  What would that mean about me?  Am I willing to choose to live differently?  Am I willing to feel uncomfortable, temporarily, to set myself free and live more authentically?

Get someone to help guide you through this process if you need it!!!! Click here to work with me.

Sweet Surrender

I’m in complete gratitude right now, and Joy. This is the first time since last summer that I have been able to do a full boxing high intensity workout without any repercussions.
Last summer I was at the Academy and I was doing a one on one session with Chris and I never felt so sick in my life. After class, I had to wait for an hour before I could even leave the building. I am grateful for my family at the Academy who helped me to get through it after that workout. After that, I continued to physically decline and was broken down to the point of not being able to even eat this past fall. I had to give up all of my workouts aside from some squats and some dips on a chair.
I have worked really hard to get back to where I’m at, but the thing that got me there was God. And my surrender to God completely.
Yes I took supplements, yes I did reevaluate my entire diet. But I spent hours per day meditating, praying, surrendering my past, my future, everything to God. Over and over.
It wasn’t just one time and a miracle happened. I continued to surrender over and over. Today I listened to Iyanla Vanzant talk about surrender being the one most important thing you can do as a spiritual warrior… And it’s so true.
I wanted to cling so tightly to the things that I had, the lifestyle that I had. But I had to be willing to let it go completely. I had to be willing to accept where I was at. Period.
I had to let go of past trauma and fear. I had to open myself up in a different way. I had to let go of beliefs and illusions of control. I had to be completely uncomfortable… feel utterly miserable.
In the past two weeks I have reached another level of surrender. This quarantine has given me an opportunity to go way deeper than I ever thought I would go. To surrender more than I ever thought I would. And to change my entire DNA. My genetic make up. I have healed completely. Mind body and soul.
I’m so grateful to have been shown the way to complete and utter peace and freedom. Of course I’ll not take for granted anything in life. I will strive to always be flexible, be aware, and practice surrender, the art of surrender, every day. Whether that has to do with relationships or money or physical health or home life whatever the case.
This is not to say I will not have goals. Because the entire time that I was doing all of this healing I had a goal which was to be able to do exactly what I did today: full rounds of boxing with high intensity.. full force.. with out feeling one repercussion or symptom in my body!
I am in a state of bliss. I just cried tears of joy. I am so grateful for my connection with the Lord. Blessed Trinity. Sacred Heart of Jesus. I’m a fighter. And in order to win this battle I had to stop fighting… Completely surrender.. it is Your will not my will. But I can tell you what I want and I can tell you what I’m going to strive for. Our wills  happened to match up LOL.
I did three 21 day meditations with Oprah and Deepak Chopra, I did hundreds of rounds of tapping, I did centering prayer daily, I listened to Iyanla Vanzant for the past 46 days every day at 10 am and did the exercises she offered. I have done daily affirmations, brrain retraining, Reiki, probably more that I can’t think of right now.
I had no idea when the day would come, or the hour, that I would reach this place
that I am at today.
Many moments I cried and thought I was going to be permanently sick. I was too sick to do much of anything from October to February. I was already in quarantine. LOL. I would drive up and down the road some days and wish to just die.
Truth… I have suffered more this year, May ’19-May”20, more than I have suffered in most of my 41 years of living. Actually the past seven years has been pretty intense. All of the physical issues, super intense and “gut wrenching” relationship lessons that were harder than hell and literally contributed to my gut imbalance… and the loss of my mother, my best friend, my codependent life line..AND, I had just started a business while she was dying… striving for the past seven years to live that life purpose. I had to stop and cry several times while voice texting this. Because you know I don’t have a thumb to type it out right now, plus I’m still impatient LOL
I let go of my addiction to being sick.
I let go of the root causes of the addiction to being sick.
I let go of any need to be sick.
I let go of any expectation that sickness has to happen.
It was all tied to my childhood, mass amounts of physical medical traumas. Tied to my mom’s fear and worry, tied to PTSD from strep throat and pandas.
I have healed so much stuff… tears again here… And I don’t share a lot about these things because I share it was just a select few people and I don’t like to broadly and openly complain about things because I don’t want that type of energy back to me.
Do I still have work to do yes do I have to continue to surrender, yes… are there going to be challenging moments, yes… but they’re not going to be seen from the same viewpoint that they used to. These are new eyeballs… these are fresh perspectives…. I’ll strive to not worry again about what if I get sick. Because that worry is what created all this in the first place. I trust. I trust God. I trust myself. God lives within me. Holy Spirit guide me. I will be still and listen. I will let go. I will allow that unconditional love to flow. I am a Spiritual Warrior and I will battle not fight.
Click here to read about Iyanla Vanzant. Click here to work with me one on one.

Toxic Masculinity

Toxic Masculinity:

Toxic masculinity is a term used to describe male gender roles that resist certain emotions that are not allowable for them to express.

I am going to discuss how this has seeped out to affect a lot of people, not just men.

Before you go off saying that resisting expression of certain emotions is necessary in certain situations of war, survival and other circumstances, let me say, yes.. I agree with you on that.

Those circumstances are not happening for everyone, yet aspects of this toxic masculinity are still affecting people negatively.

We have somehow learned, that in today’s western world, that we must resist expression of certain emotions in order to survive, be considered strong, to be valuable, or to be viewed as a successful person. We don’t openly express our “unacceptable” emotions that would cause us to appear weak, vulnerable, messy, inadequate, or incapable.

Some of these emotions are: sadness, grief, shame, fear, confusion, and many more.

Yes, yes, boys were taught and told things like:

“boys don’t cry.. have some balls…don’t be a little bitch…don’t be a pussy…suck it up..”

Since the new year began, in my therapy practice, I have heard several women say these some things. They also hold these beliefs.

As you can see, the fuel behind it is: don’t be feminine.. because somehow the expression has been ok for women but not ok for men. Today, it’s not ok for anyone!

So what then do we have here? A big, huge imbalance of the masculine and feminine energies. An overdose of masculine.

Which leads to major issues; some are listed here:

Illness, disconnection in all relationships, blocks to intimacy, addictions, anxiety, depression, dissatisfaction with career. Just to name a few!!

The emotions that are held inside you, are held inside the body too.. not just the mind. Your whole being is affected and every aspect of your humanness.

Oh, and yes, we do have toxic feminine too, which can show up in things like eating disorders, playing victim, blaming, disempowerment, and over emotional expression, especially with the purpose of manipulation.. but we will talk more about that in another article.

The goal is balance. To balance masculine and feminine energies. We must learn to be vulnerable and let out how we are feeling. We must speak the truth of what is going on inside of us. But we must also discern when to do that and with whom. We can release the emotions first and then speak of them. Acknowledge them. Accept them.

When they are first arising, you may be overwhelmed. You must find a good therapist or trusted and skilled friend to be there for you through that. I promise you won’t get stuck in them! You won’t swing to the other side of the pendulum and be super emotional all day every day.

We cannot bypass this!!! Don’t let any spiritual guru, or any pastor tell you that you can. They are usually men by the way, who are telling people that they can just go detach from their ego and go into non duality. Or they are saying it’s ok, God saved you and you can just pray about it.

Nope! These emotions and the truth of the human beings that we are cannot be denied. You cannot rise above your humanness and just be spiritual. We are here on the planet in the flesh.

Sure, there are moments when you will need detachment and to let go and shut the ego up. But you can’t stay there all day every day.

Do your inner child healing work, find the blocks that prevent you from being vulnerable and open about the truth of you and go through the pain and uncomfortablility of the emotions. You may have to do it in phases, or cycles.. you may have to circle back to them again and again. But that is what life is.. a circle, an orbit.. we will keep coming back to the same things, each time with a different perspective or realization.

Free yourself to be you. Be not afraid of what people are going to think… be not afraid of losing people or being rejected by them for who you are! Those who are also in their truth will see this and love you more. They will be present in the moment with you. They see you because they see themselves.

You won’t always be in balance. That is impossible. But you will recognize much quicker when something is off, and be able to address it!

I wish you all a wonderful day, and look forward to your comments!

Click Here if you want to work with me and for more info on my session.

Chakra Healing-Heart Chakra

heart chakra image

The Heart Chakra is the 4th of the seven chakras, and it is represented by the color green.  It involves the circulatory system, diaphragm, heart, lungs, arms, shoulders, ribs, breasts and thymus gland.

The heart chakra can be affected by situations that have emotionally stressful aspects, or as some say, “matters of the heart.”  Some examples are divorce, or separation of intimate relationships, loss of loved ones to death, or a betrayal of trust by another person.

The heart chakra is meant to give and receive love, but when it is out of balance, it cannot do its job effectively. One reason for being out of balance is trapped emotions.  When feelings get hurt over and over, or many losses occur, a person can build up a protective wall.  It is no longer desirable to open up to love for fear of betrayal, loss, grief, heartache, or loneliness.  A person can become defensive, and then the heart can be protected by a wall of energetic material along with trapped emotions in the energy field.

In the Emotion Code, Dr. Nelson calls this the heartwall.  Thankfully, the heartwall can be removed by Emotion Code therapy and Reiki.

The Heart Chakra-Effects

A person can actually feel emotional hurts in a physical way in the chest area.  The chest may feel heavy, tightness or pressure.  Many anxieties and fears are felt in the heart chakra area, even if they originate from another chakra. If the heart chakra is too open, a person could be ruled by their emotions.  There are many people out there who give way too much and receive very little.  They never take any love for themselves, or give themselves any self-love.  The opposite end of the spectrum is a closed heart chakra.  The hear is in total protective, defensive mode and will not give or receive love.  It is now just like a castle with a very large moat around it with no bridge or any access to enter it.  Creating a balance in the heart chakra is ideal! The key to balancing the heart chakra is first giving self-love. Without loving yourself first, giving and receiving any other love is hard to achieve.

Heart Chakra Healing

Here are some ways to balance and heal the heart chakra: There are many techniques that I enjoy utilizing to balance the heart chakra.  Contacting me for an Emotion code or a Reiki session for heart chakra healing would be very effective.  Here are some things to do in the meantime on your own:  Mirror work by Louise Hay.   Louise tells us to talk to ourselves in the mirror daily and tell yourself “I love you” and other positive things like “you are magnificent.”  Even if it feels strange at first, just give it some time.  Also Chakra toning is an effective way to help heal the heart chakra.  Allowing your voice to make the AH sound for as long as your breath allows, then repeating it a few times until the heart chakra area feels lighter and more clear.  Also, asking angels for help is really useful!  Archangel Raphael is always there to assist in healing the heart if you call upon him.

Chakra Healing-Solar Plexus Chakra


The third chakra is the solar plexus chakra, which is located from the naval up through the stomach area.  The color that represents this chakra is yellow.  When this chakra is in balance, self-esteem will be present along with confidence and self-worth.T

Also, there will be a respect for others, joyfulness, emotional fulfillment, and a feeling of warmth and comfort.  A person with a balanced third chakra will be socially adept and be able to take healthy risks and try new things.  This person would also be a leader, energetic, and intune with their intuition.

Solar Plexus Chakra-Effects

When this chakra is overactive a person can be judgmental, critical, and easily find fault in others.  He/she can also be demanding and have an extreme range of emotions that are not very stable.    An overactive solar plexus chakra can result in perfectionism and being very rigid or stubborn; not wanting to see things any other way.  The over active third chakra can be a strain on interpersonal relationships.  When someone is critical and unable to compromise it is hard to maintain healthy friendships or intimate relationships which require agreement, and allowing others to enter into your personal space.

When this chakra is underactive, one may become very worried about what other people think, and feel out of control of life.  This may also bring up feelings of fear and depression that could impact a person’s daily life.  He/she may have trouble getting things done, and be uncomfortable with change and new things.  He/she may also doubt and mistrust those around them.  A person with an underactive solar plexus chakra seems to go on auto pilot and avoid feelings and challenges.  He/she is afraid to move forward and just use avoidance to keep things the same way all the time.

Solar Plexus Chakra-Healing

A chakra healing can be very easily done.  Some basic ways to heal solar plexus chakra imbalances:  Positive affirmations could be used daily, for example, “I am totally comfortable expressing my feelings to others and I actively listen to them in return.”  Or, “I am letting go of judgment and choose to allow myself to see all sides to things.”  Some other ways to heal this chakra: getting a hobby, doing something creative to express yourself, lifting weights, being in the sunlight, wearing yellow objects or clothing and making choices from a place of love instead of fear.  Also, Reiki can help raise vibrations and usher negative energies out of the chakra.

To contact me for a Reiki session for chakra healing in person, or at a distance, click here.

Chakra Healing – Sacral

chakra healingThe second chakra is called the Sacral Chakra, and is located in the lower abdomen below the naval.  It has also been referred to as the womb chakra.  The sacral chakra is the center for creativity and sexuality, and is associated with the color orange.  This chakra affects the reproductive organs, intestines, lower vertebrae, pelvis, hips, and bladder.

Sacral chakra-Effects

Symptoms of weakness or lack of balance in this chakra: unresponsive emotionally, longer periods of grief, wallowing in misery and being ruled by emotions in general.  Inability to create or manifest what you desire in life, not creativity in the sense of art and music, but just creating what you want for this life: A good career, money, a healthy relationship, or a family. Inability to have fun or find things pleasurable is also typical of a weak sacral chakra.

Over activity in this chakra could include: selfishness, arrogance, overwhelm and a sense of being overburdened.   All of the above could be affected by issues with the sacral chakra.  Also some physical issue could occur: lower back pain, reproductive organ issues, or bladder problems.

In doing psychotherapy along with Reiki, I have noticed correlations with sacral chakra and behaviors and interpersonal problems: intimate relationships can often appear to be enmeshed and dependent; or the opposite often happens and one might be distant, cold and unable to connect to others.

This is usually in connection with how someone was raised. For example a person may come from a big, ethnic family where everyone was very close and had little boundaries.  When that person tries to have a relationship and family of his/her own, they may run into issues with healthy boundaries and dependency. The opposite also applies for parents that were cold and standoffish.  That makes it hard for someone to connect emotionally to have a successful intimate relationship.

In one of my sessions, I was performing Reiki on a woman and noticed that I focused much of the time on her sacral chakra.  I suggested some post-session healing for her sacral chakra and explained what that chakra entails.  We figured out that this woman had been hiding her true self and desire by denying her sexual orientation.  When issues like this come up during a Reiki session, I am then able to utilize psychotherapeutic techniques that assist in processing the new ideas or realizations that have surfaced.

Sacral chakra Healing

When the sacral chakra is balanced, one will experience healthy boundaries in relationships, will be in touch with true emotions, and will manifest desires and achieve goals.

Ways to balance the sacral chakra include yoga, eating healthy fruits and vegetables, exercise, and repeating affirmations.  Also, visualization of the chakra spinning clockwise and writing/journaling about emotions will be therapeutic to the sacral chakra.  Contact me for chakra healing sessions!

Chakra Healing – The Root Chakra

chakra healingWhat is a chakra? Well, the word itself means disk, or wheel and has a Sanskrit origin.  There are seven main chakras in the human body.  They begin at the base of the spine, and continue to the top of the head or crown.  Each major chakra is a center of spinning energy which may be spinning in different directions.

Each chakra is named after the area of the body that it covers: the root chakra, the sacral chakra, the solar plexus chakra, the heart chakra, the throat chakra, the third eye chakra, and the crown chakra.

Each chakra can influence the organs of the body that are close in proximity, but also can influence the muscles, ligaments, and all other body parts within its energy field.  Chakras may also affect your psychological and spiritual health.  There are also colors associated with the chakras.  Light and color move through them and may change colors while spinning, but there are colors that typically correspond with each chakra.

In this blog post, I will be focusing on the first chakra, the root chakra.

The Root Chakra- Effects

It is said that red is the color of the root chakra, and it is located at the base of the spine.  The root chakra influences the hips, spine, legs, bones, adrenals, and could affect the kidneys and intestines as well.   This is the chakra that connects us to the Earth and its energies.  Early experiences in life are imprinted on this root chakra as well as past life memories.  If a person’s root chakra is closed, or under -active, he or she may not feel grounded or safe and may experience fearfulness, lack of confidence, issues with anxieties and phobias, or feel disconnected.  They may have a poor immune system, irritable bowel syndrome, or feel generally  sluggish. They may also have trouble with finances.

When the root chakra is overactive, a person could experience feelings of anger, aggression, or frustration.  They may depend on security from others, and may not deal well with change. They may have unhealthy habits, be very controlling, greedy, or even have an overactive sex drive.

Root Chakra Healing

Balancing the chakra is the goal!  When the root chakra is balanced, one will experience stability, security, healthy boundaries and confidence.  How do you heal the root chakra?

You can begin with walking around on the Earth, stomping on the ground, or even dancing to generate a connection to the Earth energy.  Kundalini Yoga is also a popular way to bring balance to the root chakra.  Also, some oils are used in connection with healing the root chakra: sandalwood, cedar, clove, and ginger Both ways are equally as powerful and effective.

Reiki has been known to bring balance to and promote chakra healing with comfort and ease.  Reiki removes negative energies from the root chakra that prevent it from being in total balance.   To take your root chakra healing to a deeper level  you could schedule a Reiki healing session with me in person , or at a distance.  Click here to schedule a chakra healing today!